A few changes have occurred. So many changes in thought, more confusion than I'd like, and a unexpected pleasant surprise. But more on those in a few.
But first, why haven't i made a post in 2 months? Well...i have been really busy working on a feature script at the moment. It came up so fast, that the only thing i could do was just start writing the beat sheet. So naturally, that took a lot of my "free" time. I was hoping to be done with it by end of February, but i was watching the girls alot. February was kind of a hectic month. But i continue to at least think about the script everyday, and try to get it done as fast as i can. Even if its not as fast as I'd like it. But the thoughts come in waves and i am definitely inspired when i am having my alone time with God. He is the main underlying theme in this story, so it would be natural for the ideas to come then. Its amazing the themes that I am writing . Makes me excited to see him quietly writing thru me. Gives me chills...
Now for the main reason I truly wanted to start this post. So i know that in High School, a bunch of my GF's had a "marriage plan" put together by the time they were 15-16. I am included in that statement. Ready for this? Married at 21 and 1st kid by 23. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Right? Me? No....I think it was in my last post that my "marriage train" will be ready to board about the time that I am 30. But recently I have had people speak into my life and come into my life that have truly been making me rethink my plans. Currently this is my FB status
"Knows fully well that 'her plans' are getting in the way of 'HIS plans'. Trying so hard to truly let it go and let HIM work!" To me, in my thought process, waiting til I'm 30 is common sense. But...its that truly God's Plan? Am I hindering myself? Recently i feel like i have pushed away a good man because its not in "my plans"? My inner circle and I agree that I'm a big dummy. I am at odds with myself and don't know what to do. What can I do except PRAY? UGH! Who knew this whole process of "dating/pre planning of procreation" could be so daunting. LOL. Some people make it look soooo easy it makes me sick. The next couple weeks should be interesting for sure. Stay tuned!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Mixed feelings
Tonight was interesting. A strange sadness fell over me. I left early for church tonight, but still ended up being late. Devil trying to deter me for sure and managed to distract but not completely.
An old man on one of those electric chair things fell out of his chair and into the street when he tried to come off the curb. Almost got into an accident as i pulled over to help him. He was about 3 times my size and i took people almost 3-4 minutes for someone else to help me get him back into his chair. People just watched as he laid in the wet street trying to get up. What the hell is wrong with people? Seriously not gonna help and old man get up so that way he doesn't get ran over? Was so furious at that thought that it almost made me cry. He was okay except for his nose was scraped up pretty bad.
Still managed to make it during the first song of church though. Couldn't concentrate, too much on my mind and still a little shaken up. Got prayed for tonight too! I need a door opened and soon. But I am waiting patiently knowing that everything comes in time when HE is ready.
On a really postivie note, my mind is turning and picking up where i left off on an old script i started working on last year. Looking at it in a new way. Makes me smile as my mind is up to its old tricks. Pastor Dan or Taylor (Cant remember which one) asked if anyone hears voices? He said to not raise your hand. I kind of jumped the gun and raised mine and the guy next to to me gave me a wierd look. Hey i'm a writer, i have voices in my head 24/7 and i choose not to take meds. Its part of my flair. :-P
An old man on one of those electric chair things fell out of his chair and into the street when he tried to come off the curb. Almost got into an accident as i pulled over to help him. He was about 3 times my size and i took people almost 3-4 minutes for someone else to help me get him back into his chair. People just watched as he laid in the wet street trying to get up. What the hell is wrong with people? Seriously not gonna help and old man get up so that way he doesn't get ran over? Was so furious at that thought that it almost made me cry. He was okay except for his nose was scraped up pretty bad.
Still managed to make it during the first song of church though. Couldn't concentrate, too much on my mind and still a little shaken up. Got prayed for tonight too! I need a door opened and soon. But I am waiting patiently knowing that everything comes in time when HE is ready.
On a really postivie note, my mind is turning and picking up where i left off on an old script i started working on last year. Looking at it in a new way. Makes me smile as my mind is up to its old tricks. Pastor Dan or Taylor (Cant remember which one) asked if anyone hears voices? He said to not raise your hand. I kind of jumped the gun and raised mine and the guy next to to me gave me a wierd look. Hey i'm a writer, i have voices in my head 24/7 and i choose not to take meds. Its part of my flair. :-P
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
By the time I'm 30...
Job hunting....UGH! Enough said...right? Wrong. My dating life postponed until i start my career. Its a conscious choice really. If i'm gonna be an executive and creator of a series by the time i'm 30, i need to have 100% concentration. Hollywood is not kind to married folk. And i REFUSE to be a statistic.
I'm doing what i can to try to find this new job. I am stepping out of my comfort zone of a comfortable job to finally get uncomfortable to do HIS will for my life. And again....by the time i'm 30. 50 applications in a month with no answer. REALLY? Am i that unemployable? LOL. Its the law of the numbers. So i will keep with the 5-7 applications per day and pray that God will open a new door. God never closes the wrong door, so i'm just waiting faithfully and praying that it will be opened soon.
And Then...
I'm doing what i can to try to find this new job. I am stepping out of my comfort zone of a comfortable job to finally get uncomfortable to do HIS will for my life. And again....by the time i'm 30. 50 applications in a month with no answer. REALLY? Am i that unemployable? LOL. Its the law of the numbers. So i will keep with the 5-7 applications per day and pray that God will open a new door. God never closes the wrong door, so i'm just waiting faithfully and praying that it will be opened soon.
And Then...
The First of Many To Come
2010...what a year to start a blog. Not necessarily a resolution, but more of "what the hell, why not" type of thing. With all the social networks status updates and tweets, i find that i still have more to say. Who really wants to annoy people with multiple postings? Not me.
With my JOB and the attempting to start my career, i find that my social life can sort of lack and fall by the wayside (who came up with that saying? what exactly is the 'wayside'?). I have amazing best friends & family who i don't get to see or talk to as much as I'd like. This blog is a means of updating those peeps on how i am. This is not intended for a feeding of a narcissistic ego, i have Facebook to help me with that...truly. Have you seen how many pics i have up there?
Some days i might be deep in what i have to say. Most days IT WONT! It will be my crazy, dorky self! This is a means to keep me writing everyday, no matter what it is. For those who say they want to see what i write, here is a great place to check. My goal is to put at least 1 creative writing exercise that I've done up every day. Some will be crap! I am not gonna lie to you. I have been taught to push through the crap to get to the good stuff. It will be interesting to see what comes of it. Well, i think that's enough for one night!
And Then....
With my JOB and the attempting to start my career, i find that my social life can sort of lack and fall by the wayside (who came up with that saying? what exactly is the 'wayside'?). I have amazing best friends & family who i don't get to see or talk to as much as I'd like. This blog is a means of updating those peeps on how i am. This is not intended for a feeding of a narcissistic ego, i have Facebook to help me with that...truly. Have you seen how many pics i have up there?
Some days i might be deep in what i have to say. Most days IT WONT! It will be my crazy, dorky self! This is a means to keep me writing everyday, no matter what it is. For those who say they want to see what i write, here is a great place to check. My goal is to put at least 1 creative writing exercise that I've done up every day. Some will be crap! I am not gonna lie to you. I have been taught to push through the crap to get to the good stuff. It will be interesting to see what comes of it. Well, i think that's enough for one night!
And Then....
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